Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Thank You for Flying Continental Airlines
By Don Iannone

It's early.
Six AM to be exact.
No sign of sun at this hour
in mid-October in Cleveland.
We're about to take off.
It's that pregnant time
between the gate and the runway.
The plane is jam packed.
Reminds me of a flying sardine can.
I have a winning campaign slogan
for Ohio's next governor:
"Middle seats on all airplanes taking off
and landing in Ohio should be outlawed."
We worry about terrorists...
how about the snoring cowboy next to me?
When is that "beam me up Scotty" technology
going to be available?
I'll bet Continental Airlines has it,
but won't release it
because the company bought too many airplanes--
all of which have those insane middle seats.
Travel is a pain.
No such thing as comfort and convenience.
Both are lost arts,
like a good night's sleep, and
a dry cleaner that really presses wrinkles out of shirts.
Why do I sound like that drone Andy Rooney from 60 Minutes?
God help me if I do.
No roses to smell this morning--
just a snoot full of jet fuel fumes.
How I hate that smell.
Where's that gourmet coffee described
in the Continental flight magazine?
I need caffeine now!
I promise I won't spill it during take-off.
Trust me--
I have a steady hand
when there's a drink in it.
I guess this is the price you pay
for being in business for yourself,
and having clients 2,300 miles away.
Anyway, thank you for flying Continental Airlines.

11 comments:

M. Shahin said...

"The plane is jam packed.
Reminds me of a flying sardine can."

Great description! Been there before. I don't really like flying, mainly because I don't like being above ground that high.

'Travel is a pain' on a plane. When traveling, I rather go by car, but I know it is not always possible.

"We worry about terrorists...
how about the snoring cowboy next to me?" - priceless :-)

Don Iannone said...

Thanks M.Shahin. Appreciate your comments very much.

samuru999 said...

You might be sounding just a little like Andy Rooney....
but I like your poem!
Maybe 60 mins.will hire you when
Andy's gone!!!!!
Good and funny poem Don!
Safe trip!

Kathleen said...

oh my... Don... you are so funny... belly laugh happening...
Good morning to you too! :)

Pat Paulk said...

It's been so long since I've flown, but doesn't sound like it's changed any. Actually, I'm sure it's worse. "...snoring cowboy", yipikia!!!!!

Dan said...

Ha ha!

Don Iannone said...

Thanks Dan, Kathleen, Pat, and Margie.

Angela said...

Very clever!

polona said...

wow, don... you made me lough, but i feel for you. indeed, where's that "beam me up, scotty" technology... would make things much more comfortable (in case you don't mind being disintegrated for a short while) :)

Rob said...

I travel by bicycle. Even then there is a price to pay mind you.

Don Iannone said...

Angela, Polona, and Rob...thank you for your comments. Indeed, let your humor fly!

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