Bear with me while I rant...

Have you ever gone through a period when it seems like nothing, or more accurately many things, are not going so well in your life? I'm sure you have. Lately, I have been feeling that way. That doesn't mean that there have not been bright spots, because there surely have been.

Life can be a struggle, especially when it is trying to teach us crucial lessons that we must learn to grow into our true trusting, honest, loving and compassionate nature. There are some incredibly tough lessons that I am in the process of learning at this time. Most of them call upon me to ascertain what is really most important to me in life. Many are causing me to think seriously about what I really have the capacity to accomplish in life. When it's all said and done and the final accounting results are in, what have I really accomplished with my life? Every once in a while, we feel compelled to punish ourselves with that question. Ouch!

A wise personal advisor has reminded me several times that each of us creates our own personal reality in life. When I was growing up, my father used a simpler version of the same advice: "You made your bed, now lie in it." Gee, that sounds great, right? That reality includes everything along the spectrum from creating our own happiness to setting the stage for our own sadness. That is both the blessing, and at times the curse, associated with free-will.

Along with our wonderful free-will comes personal responsibility. It's far easier to accept responsibility for our life successes than our failures. Our ego takes delight when things go right in our life, and it becomes a relentless battering ram that pounds away at us when things don't go as we want. Sound familiar? I know...ditch the ego!

I have been pretty darn lucky in my life so far. Blessed is probably a better way to describe the life I've had. I am truly grateful for my loving family, devoted and caring friends, interesting and fulfilling work, and the many other gifts God has seen fit to give me. Have I made the most of these gifts? At times, I have, and other times I have not. It is so easy to take people, things and opportunities for granted. As they say, "you don't realize what you've got until it's almost gone."

At 52, my preference would be to do more coasting at this point in my life. Then reality sets in when I look at our retirement investments and other responsibilities. Get real, Donnie Boy! But then again, who wouldn't like to lay on a beach somewhere instead of haggle with a client over fees and final report revisions?

We condition ourselves to believe that if we work real hard, some day we will enjoy the fruits of our labor. Didn't somebody call this belief the "American Dream?" How did a smart guy like me get suckered into that one? Some days the pay-off, at least in terms of money, peace, satisfaction, happiness and other things, is just not there. I know...that's when we need to take the long view of things.

Did I ever tell you that it is a royal grind being a sole practitioner? Actually, it's a pain in the butt many days. Yes, the freedom to do things I enjoy is great, but with that freedom comes the full responsibility to create my own opportunities and deal with my own problems. And it's a damn lonely path to travel at times. Some days you simply tire of the grind of marketing yourself, doing projects, paying the tax man and all else that goes with running a small business. And now you know the rest of the story, as Paul Harvey used to say.

Yes folks, this is a genuine 24-caret gold "rant." They are pretty darn boring for other people to listen to, but I think everyone is entitled to one once in a while.

Thanks for listening.