Saturday, July 19, 2003

People we attract...

Do you ever look around and ask: "Why are the people who are a part of my life in my life?" I find myself doing that, especially when I run into someone who brings me great joy and happiness or someone who is the biggest pain-in-the-ass I have ever met.

I have a theory of people attraction and it goes something like this. Each of us is a powerful "energy" magnet that attracts and repels people. The qualities of our inner magnet changes many times during our life.

No one wants to attract assholes, but we attract them at times because even the asshole has something to teach us. The guy who cuts you off on the highway could be a reminder that we tend to do the same thing literally or symbolically to others. Joyous people can help remind us that there is a place of joy inside each of us.

There is another dimension to my theory, which is the relationship dimension. Every person you attract has relationships with other people. These relationships reflect the complex web that person lives in. When you attract that person, you at times also attract a part of their relationship web. This is especially common when we manage a sustained relationship with a person over time.

Why is all this important? It's important because it points out that we need to understand ourselves to truly understand the meaning of our relationships. It also points out that we have a choice in who we attract into our lives and who we are attracted to. Finally, it points out the importance of building a network of relationships that is healthy and capable of nourishing our growth.

The quality of our relationships really matters. If your life is filled with joyous, creative, and happy people, look closely at the path that led you to them. Do the same for the assholes and jerks in your life. The path will tell you a lot about yourself and how and why you relate to certain types of people. If you try, you can actually change the mix of people you attract.

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