Not Until
By Don Iannone

Not until I knew myself,
I stumbled headfirst through life,
believing my fall from grace was an omen
that I was free at last.
Not until I knew you,
I fell prey to my own lies and self-deception,
wishing you wouldn't rob me
of my last filthy remains.
Not until my ego died,
I thought having was living,
and you were mine--
all because I wanted to possess you.
Not until I hit the wall,
I thought I could fly forever,
and never pay the price
for following my foolish dreams.
Not until I saw the universe
with clear blue eyes,
I thought my world was it,
and nothing was beyond me.
Not until you doused the raging fire
that caused me to self-combust,
I thought the fire was my light,
and I was only alive when I was on fire.
Not until I discovered life was a full length mirror,
reflecting everything we are,
I thought I could close one eye
and only see what I wanted to see.
Not until the sun came up,
washing away the darkness in my life,
did I see none of it is mine,
and that life is truly a gift.