We've come a long way, Baby...

How well versed are you in bathroom etiquette? This little history lesson may amuse you.

In the Middle Ages, it was considered sufficient to step "an arrow's flight" distance into the gardens before doing what had to be done. Royalty apparently even thought this unnecessary--one English noble was appalled to find that the visiting king and retinue defecated wherever they chose throughout his castle--and during a conversation with a young noblewoman, he was surprised to hear tinkling water and watch a puddle spreading across his floor beneath her long dress. Makes you wonder how they ever trained the family pooch.

Officially banned in 1393 in Paris, it was a centuries-long practice to empty bedpans from high windows into the street. So much for sidewalk cafes in Paris in those days.

One of history's earliest etiquette books, penned by Erasmus of Rotterdam (1465-1536), laid down several laws about behavior concerning bodily-functions. "It is impolite," he wrote to greet someone who is urinating or defecating." He then advises the person in need of "breaking wind" to let a cough hide the explosive sound...Follow the law: replace farts with coughs. And I thought all those folks at the Mexican restaurant last night were suffering from the same upper respiratory infection.

You may laugh at this, and hopefully it makes you chuckle, but this too is a part of living consciously. Get on your knees now and thank the Lord God Almighty for sending us sanitary engineers.