Important tech terms to survive...

486
The average IQ needed to understand a PC.

State of the Art
Any computer you can't afford.

Obsolete
Any computer you own.

Microsecond
The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to
become obsolete.

G3
Apple's new Macs that make you say "Gee, three times
faster than the computer I bought for the same price a
Microsecond ago."

Syntax Error
Walking into a computer store and saying "Hi, I want to
buy a computer and money is no object."

Hard Drive
The sales technique employed by computer salesmen,
esp. after a Syntax Error.

GUI
What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee
on it. (pronounced "gooey")

Keyboard
The standard way to generate computer errors.

Mouse
An advanced input device to make computer errors
easier to generate.

Floppy
The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.

Portable Computer
A device invented to force businessmen to work at
home, on vacation, and on business trips.

Disk Crash
A typical computer response to any critical deadline.

Power User
Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.

System Update
A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.

Source.