My First Girlie Magazine
By Don Iannone

I don't know what I was looking for
that warm summer morning
when I found my first girlie magazine.
It caught my eye,
as I shuffled down the alley,
looking for something to do.
I couldn't believe my eyes,
but there it was.
Haphazardly thrown in a box
for the trash collector to pick up.

I was nine.
Old enough to know
this was an important discovery,
and the start of something new
in my curious young life.
Instinct takes over,
even when you're nine.
I don't remember how the thing
actually got in my hand,
but it did.
It came to life
as I clutched it.

I wanted to look at it--
really study it up close,
but it was broad daylight,
and somebody might see me
with it in my hand.
I did what any curious boy would do:
I stuffed the magazine in my shirt
and raced off to the garage,
where Dad kept the old Ford,
and where I hoped
I could explore my new find
in excruciatingly intimate detail.

My heart pounded,
and that wasn't all.
There it was.
In my hand, again.
Waiting to be opened and savored,
like an ice cream cone
on a hot July afternoon.
I found myself pretending to be older.
After all,
what could a nine-year old do
with a scantily dressed woman like this?
I could only imagine,
and imagine I did,
and for much longer than I could imagine.

Was that Mom calling me?
God help me,
if she finds me looking at this thing.
I desparately looked about the garage
for just the right place to stash my treasure.
I had never looked at the garage
in quite this way before.
I heard my name again.
This time louder.
I had to go.
Where should I hide my secret?
There!
Behind the bench.
Under the pile of old boards.
It was done.

I was sweating profusely.
Suddenly I was hot--all over.
I slipped out the side door.
There she was.
"Where have you been?
Didn't you hear me calling you?"
Did she know?
How could she?
Mothers sense these things.
I nodded slyly,
and ran off into the house,
before the interrogation could begin.
I was relieved at not getting caught,
but pleasantly obsessed with the image
of my secret love's wavey blonde hair
and long inviting legs.
How could anyone even think
about throwing her away?