Another great poem from you Don! Nothing less... of-course! I really like this one a lot!
As for my voice... a songbird I am not. I do like to sing though. Maybe I will sing that poem and see how it sounds. I bet you could sing it quite nicely though.
Normally I get a lot out of your choice of imagery, but this poem stands out by its rhythm and rhyme. It has a nice quick pace and chipper tone. One thing I'd like to see is a "faster" last line. It is only 1 syllable longer than "and morning breaks," but the sounds in "quietly" take a long time to say, which slows the line down dramatically. For a consistent rhythm, I'd like to see it read more quickly, like line 4. But perhaps you intended the slowdown, in which case, leave it. :)
Another great poem from you Don!
ReplyDeleteNothing less... of-course!
I really like this one a lot!
As for my voice... a songbird I
am not. I do like to sing though.
Maybe I will sing that poem and
see how it sounds.
I bet you could sing it quite
nicely though.
Give it a shot. Like you, I like to sing...but that doesn;t cut it. LOL
ReplyDeleteHi Don,
ReplyDeleteNormally I get a lot out of your choice of imagery, but this poem stands out by its rhythm and rhyme. It has a nice quick pace and chipper tone. One thing I'd like to see is a "faster" last line. It is only 1 syllable longer than "and morning breaks," but the sounds in "quietly" take a long time to say, which slows the line down dramatically. For a consistent rhythm, I'd like to see it read more quickly, like line 4. But perhaps you intended the slowdown, in which case, leave it. :)
Mike...thanks. Did a couple tweaks. Like the longer last line though.
ReplyDeletebirdsong after the thunderstorm makes it worth living...
ReplyDeletehope you don't mind i put a link on my blog
Polona...I'm flattered. Link away. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteexcellent
ReplyDeletevery nice.. clear and crisp... with ringing tones...! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Kai. Appreciate your comments always.
ReplyDeleteKathleen...thank you too and appreciate yours.
Oh Don, a little birdie left this poem on my blog for me to read!!!!
ReplyDeleteDelightful, short and sweet
Dumbdodi...small world. Can you imagine that. LOL. Enjoy your weekend.
ReplyDeleteHmm- nature sings for me.
ReplyDeleteLovely "filter."
Thanks Silvermoon. Just tried to access your blog but couldn't get it to come up.
ReplyDelete